Summer 2013-where it all went wrong

So I think I have some explaining to do.

Last summer was the worst few weeks of my life so far and probably will always be. But the 15th August 2013 (A level results day) is the worst day of my life and is when my bubble burst. I was disappointed with my A level results which were amazing by most people's standards but I have always been the person who isn't happy with anything less than perfection. So when I got a U in a maths exam (my best subject) and didnt get into university, my whole life fell apart. My parents were questioning my decisions about resitting exams this summer because a B grade overall at Further Maths A level is still pretty good and I could get into most universities with it. I was meant to be the one who was always challenging for top of the class and that didn't happen last year and it was a shock to the system. What I haven't said yet is that I was struggling for months before hand with most of my A levels but I just hid it from everyone including myself. That was my biggest mistake.

It was safe to say my confidence hit rock bottom and still hasn't fully recovered. It seems such an insignificant thing to anyone else but me, so I understand why you probably think I am a little bit odd at this point I hope this first impression of me can change.

What made everything worse was all my friends at school did amazingly so I couldn't really talk to them and they were all off to university all over the UK in a couple of months time. The only person who I was left to talk to was my then boyfriend who was amazing but he couldn't rebuild my confidence. Only I could do this. I urge anyone who has gone through failure or disappointment to not shut yourself off from the rest of the world like I did, it just makes everything 100 times worse and to recover from it becomes just a bit more difficult.

So this last year I have been studying for resits and a completely new a level trying to prove to myself I have learnt from the mistakes I made before and I am as good as everyone said I was in school. It has been a year of self discovery and realising how strangely self motivated I am although the confidence is yet to return to even half of what it was before.